Until now, I have read literature on coaching, understood the concepts, and then practiced and revised them. I have also referred to athletes’ comments and YouTube videos. I tried practicing it not only in children’s education, but also in management and in raising my own children.

It has become half-systematized in my own mind, so I will write down what I currently understand intuitively as a practical method. Another major reason is that many sources describe concrete practices, but I could not find something that was neatly organized.

Especially when building coaching mechanisms, I think it is essential to understand coaching systematically. Of course, practical methods are more important when actually doing coaching, but I will omit that here.

1. Help find enjoyment

Those who know it are not equal to those who love it.

Those who love it are not equal to those who enjoy it.

Confucius

The first step is to help find enjoyment. It can be just one part, but explore together where the fun is. If the person looks like they are enjoying it, say, “That part was fun, wasn’t it?” and encourage awareness.

2. Help make it a habit

We are what we repeatedly do.

Aristotle

Even if someone finds enjoyment, they cannot get results unless they continue. Assist with habit formation. There are ways to call out to them, and ways to make progress visible. Basically, encourage habit formation by reconnecting to the enjoyment found in the previous step.

At this stage, do not yet reflect on habit formation or why it is not becoming a habit. This is before even boredom has appeared.

3. Set goals

War is over

If you want it

John Lennon

Once some level of habit formation has been achieved, move into goal setting. Ideally the person sets the goal themselves, but having a goal is better than having none, so you can also set one for them. It does not have to be a permanent goal.

Conversely, if there is a permanent goal, use it to set the immediate goal. If goal setting clearly does not go well, it may be something enjoyable but without a desire for improvement, so go back to the steps before step 1. I omitted it here, but there is also a step of deciding what to do first.

A positive goal is better than a negative one. Still, having a negative goal is better than none. The reason to avoid negative goals is that motivation tends to decline, which affects continuation in the next step.

There are several reasons to set goals, but the main purpose is to change behavior. This is sometimes called leaving the comfort zone. In other words, the current behavior may produce a certain level of results, but if you want more results, you need to raise the level of behavior. To trigger that action, you use the potential energy of a high goal.

So originally, the higher the goal, the better. For the third time, even a low goal is better than none. A goal that is too high will affect the next step.

4. Build confidence

“Anyone can succeed.” If you keep telling yourself that, you absolutely can succeed.

John Lennon

Unless the person continues toward the goal, results will not appear. When a high goal is set, habit formation alone is often not enough. Whether the person can continue strongly depends on whether they believe they can achieve it. Therefore, the role of coaching is to build confidence so the person can believe they can achieve it.

5. Reflect together

The person who knows that they are ignorant is wiser than the person who does not know that they are ignorant.

Socrates

Reflect periodically on whether the person is meeting the goal. This is the first time to reflect on habit formation. Even if the goal has not been achieved, there should be some change, so acknowledge that while encouraging further progress.

There is another point. People have a habit of affirming what they are doing. Therefore, when results appear that deny what they are doing, they unconsciously deceive themselves. A phenomenon like cognitive dissonance occurs.

The role of the coach is to not miss this cognitive dissonance, and to help the person notice it through questions and other indirect methods. Face failure together.

If this much is possible, continuing this cycle should lead to major results.

6. Dig deeper into the client

Know thyself

Socrates

The steps from here are advanced, and you do not necessarily have to proceed. However, the further you go, the more there is to gain.

What is essential for digging into the client is a relationship of trust between the client and the coach. If there have been certain results through the process so far, that relationship is probably built. On the other hand, personality compatibility also seems to matter.

What you dig into here is the theme that the client truly wants to face in life. Basically, it is hidden at an unconscious level, so you need to dig into it together.

7. Enter mastery

If I hear the Way in the morning, I may die in the evening.

Confucius

Once a life theme is found, the person practices it in the same way as the previous steps. I call this state entering mastery. The person acts around something they want to achieve over their entire life, or even beyond their lifetime.

In this state, coaching is often unnecessary. Because the person sees their life from a broad perspective, cognitive dissonance becomes less likely.

However, one point to note is that mastery is not a destination, but a state. In other words, it is easy to fall out of the mastery state. When that happens, coaching can help the person enter the mastery state again.